I reached out with some solidarity one day to my sister, mentioning the range of emotions and sibling battles we’d had in our house one day.
She asked if I could care less. Me? Care less?!
We had a good text chuckle (is that a thing?)
As I sit here this morning, coffee cup empty and everyone else still in bed, the sparrows flit and flee from one bird feeder to another in our backyard. After turning 40 last year I’ve had a distinct delight in feeding birds and watching them enjoy what I have put out for them. The girls and I will sit in our dining room window seat and point out what we see on a daily basis.
It makes me think of the verse in Matthew 6 where Jesus tells those listening to look at the birds of the air – are they not fed? Your Heavenly Father feeds them, and how much more valuable are you than them? (paraphrase).
Vs 27 says, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” When you look up the word “anxious” it actually means to be “full of care”. That shed a fresh light on areas that trouble me, where the enemy attacks and where there may be some old wounds yet to heal. I tend to care too much for those areas where either I felt I needed to because no one else was, or areas of life that I am passionate about and want to control.
Full of care. It makes “anxiety” not seem like such a scary word, doesn’t it?
If you read again in Matthew 6, Jesus gives us three directives and I’m going to give you a few simple and practical ways this plays out in my daily life.
Vs 26 – “Look….”
Vs 28 – “Consider…”
Vs 33 – “Seek…”
For me this looks like:
1. LOOK: What are you surrounding yourself with that is creating too much care?
Have I taken care of myself physically – rest, exercise, nature, good food? These simple yet often forgotten things have a huge impact on where my mind goes in a day.
What is filling my soul these days so I can pour back out? Now that I can get in the garden or go for more walks, I find my soul gets filled by these things. Opportunities for good conversation or moments to sit with my watercolour also help fill my soul. What works for you?
What can I do with my hands to create beauty to take my mind of what is weighing my heart with too much care? Taking a few minutes to rearrange decor, create a bouquet from the garden, or even clean something, has a way of redirecting my heart’s focus.
2. CONSIDER: Think about, or give thanks for, the ways that God has been faithful in the past.
In the beginning of 2021 I started a nightly gratitude journal. I try to write atleast three things every night, with the goal to reach 1000 gifts (thanks to Ann Voskamp‘s inspiration) by the end of the year. I did it, and have continued to have this little book by my bed to write in at night. Specific things that made my heart smile that day. It’s become more automatic during the day or during a spiral of thought or troubling emotions to stop myself and speak what I am thankful for in that situation or day.
3. SEEK: Pursue God’s heart for your situation/life.
What does God specifically say about your situation? What is He maybe wanting to show you or walk you through? I have often misinterpreted anxiety or troubling emotions as a threat, and I am slooooowly learning to pay attention and see if there’s an unmet need or something God wants to show me.
I can really struggle with Mama guilt at the end of the day. Did I connect enough or do enough for them? How could I have handled xxx differently? It’s exhausting! And I realized this week it’s because I am full of care; too much of my identity has been in my performance as a Mama.
So last night as I readied for bed, I told the Lord, “I know I will never be perfect. I care deeply for my girls, and I ask that You would redeem where I will miss it. They are yours. I roll this care over to the foot of the cross (visualize this). Thank You that my identity is not in how good I did at motherhood today, but in who I am because of You.”
Verbalizing and connecting with Jesus over something that I am “full of care” over helped ease my heart and stop the evening mama guilt.
I absolutely believe that if we constantly turn to Jesus, He will constantly Shepherd us through.
So take joy my friends. If your heart is full of care you are alive and God has something to show you! Lean into it, take simple steps to ease it and see what He wants to show you in that anxiety.
