She wakes up every morning promptly at 6:40am. If not before. I hear her bedroom door creak open, as her waking-up-feet stumble down the hall.
She appears with blonde bed head, rubbing her eyes, “Mommy, can I be done?”
Again, I remind her of her wake-up time and to watch her clock. Every morning this happens. She collects the dog from the back entrance and the two of them go back to bed until her clock light goes off at 7am.
My answer to her doesn’t change from morning to morning, “Watch for your light, it’s not time to get up yet.” Yet she asks. She tries. And begrudgingly goes back until she can spring out of bed with a song and a snuggle, “My light went off!”
We do this boundary because it is good for mama to have some margin in the morning, and because consistency and sleep are good for her. It is a win win, even though she may not know it yet.
I have pondered from time to time how differently I would live life if I truly believed deep down in my spirit that God’s heart for me is good. That His care is deep and never-ending. That, if He is always working on my behalf, tending to my needs like the Great Shepherd the Bible says He is, then shouldn’t that change my disposition? Shouldn’t I excel in joy a little more, knowing He’s got my life in His hands? Shouldn’t my peace flow like a river just a bit wider as I embrace the rest of knowing He’s at work for my good?
In the devotional, New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp he speaks of our view of grace and suffering, using 1 Peter 1:6-7. Peter was able to view suffering (things we don’t like) as gifts from God that form us. He said:
No, for him they are an important part of God’s plan. Rather than being signs of his inattention, they are sure signs of the zeal of his redemptive love. In grace, he leads you where you didn’t plan to go in order to produce in you what you couldn’t achieve on your own. In those moments, he works to alter the values of your heart so that you let go of your little kingdom of one and give yourselves to his kingdom of glory and grace…..He isn’t working so much to transform your circumstances as he is working through hard circumstances to transform you and me.
I can’t tell you how many times I have lamented to God that His silence or seemingly lack of action on my part felt like inattention. How dare I be so unkind to God, right? I know. But I am learning that sharing my heart and feelings to the Lord is exactly what a Father would want. It doesn’t make me right, but it establishes relationship.
He wants us to keep coming back. He wants us to keep waking up to start our day with Him, even when we don’t feel His hand moving.
Psalm 107:9 – For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.
Sometimes good things look like protection from ourselves; seeming setbacks that cause our faith to grow stronger and our relationships to be a little more honest. Sometimes “good things” aren’t wrapped in pretty bows, but in something that an attentive God knows we need to save us from ourselves.
So, if we really profess to love and trust a good God, that is attentive and caring and sees us, how should that change our hearts and therefore our days?
PRAYER: Now, establish it, O Lord, in our hearts. That You are for our good. Establish it deeply to know that our feelings don’t rightly depict your presence at work in our lives. Establish our hearts in the trust of Your goodness and heart of care towards us. Settle us into peace, God, anyone who reads this, that You know what you are doing in our lives. Help us to keep coming back to you, abiding. And watch what you masterfully do, like only You can.
BOOK RECOMMENDATION: A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23
